Silence Now
by AlterMe01
Summary: Post-Rent fanfic told from Mark's perspective. Can't describe beyond that...


silence, now

[Author notes- I can't really describe this little story, just read it.I would like to thank Joshua Kobak and Matt Caplan for breaking my writers block in Milwaukee, Wisconsin last week, although they will never know how much this meant to me I am extremely grateful.This goes to Rachael for pestering me to write and for being a great friend.I don't own any of these characters, but I apologize to anyone I offend with my characterization.]

"Mark Cohen, right? You can go in and see him now," The tall brunette woman replied, before turning heel and briskly walking in the opposite direction, her shoes clanging on the wooden floor as she disappeared.Watching her retreating figure, Mark focused past her navy blue business suit glancing into the room behind her.Wringing his hands in his lap, he gingerly rose from the chair willing his feet to move forward.Suddenly feeling very warm, he shrugged off his jacket- placing it over top his forearm before taking baby steps towards the doorway. 

Keeping his eyes on the creamy white carpet, Mark hugged his arms around himself telling himself that it was bound to happen eventually.His shoes thudded beneath his feet- he moved faster until he reached the carpet at the entrance way before once again barely moving. 'Walk, Mark.Come on- you can do this.Just walk.One foot in front of the other- it's really easy in fact, you can do this. Twenty more steps…walk- fifteen more steps…only ten more- don't fucking chicken out- five more.There! You made it.' Taking a deep breath, he tried to unsuccessfully control his shaking hands.Slowly letting his eyes scan upward, Mark looked across the shiny ebony coffin attempting to hold back the tears threatening to fall.He cursed himself for not being brave enough to handle this- hell, he knew that it would happen- know one could beat AIDS, not even Roger Davis.Everyone in Mark's life had to die eventually- he just didn't know how much more loss he could take.

Looking at Roger's serene face, Mark couldn't believe he was gone.No more friendly banter in the loft at 3 in the morning over who ate the last of the Captain Crunch.No more staying up all hours of the night discussing their hopes and dreams, along with their latest love woes.No one to understand Mark, even more than Mark knew himself.No more encouragement for his stupid films- or someone to tell them they were incredible despite his insecurities.No songs to be played on an out of tune guitar at all hours of the day- no one to call his best friend -no…Roger.Instead of being dressed in a suit or nice clothes, Roger was clothed in his favorite ripped t-shirt and plaid pants.The funeral home had protested at home at the thought of sending a 'nice young man' to meet his maker in 'grungy pieces of garbage', but Mark had insisted- it was what Roger would have wanted.They were getting paid- by Benny in fact- why the hell did they care what they buried a random person in.In the distance, an organ began to play and Mark silently hoped the funeral director took his suggestions and played some old ACDC, Roger's favorite, during the service.

Turning away momentarily, Mark retreated to grab a chair from one of the rows before taking a seat beside the coffin. Placing his head in his hands, a sob engulfed his body as he finally came to terms to the fact that Roger was dead. It was all so damn strange-no Roger…If Roger was with him, Mark would be teased and called a 'girly man' for showing his emotions- but fuck, he had lost his only true friend he had left- he was allowed to be upset.A few minutes past and Mark managed to quit crying after a little bit.Leaning forward on his chair, he rested his chin on his arms on the side of the coffin peering within.Sighing deeply he quietly began to speak, "Hey Man- I know you can't hear me, but I need to say some things…for me- for you-," he takes a deep breath, " …for closure.Everyone will be here in a couple of hours, and you know how I hate big groups.This is the only time I'll be able to really spend any time alone with you, before Mimi arrives and I, uh…yea- I- damn Roger, I fucking miss you so damn much already…"

[This story was posted before I got it back from a beta- so I apologize for all the little grammar problems.I got really impatient, because I wanted feedback before I continued so I posted it.Now go review?]


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